I Can't Lose You
by xCHOCOPOPx
Summary: My first fanfiction. What I think might happen on Saturday involving Cal, Ethan and Alicia but I really hope it doesn't happen like this. That may have given it away, oh well :)


**I Can't Lose You**

 **Hi! This is my first ever fanfiction. It was just what I think is going to happen this Saturday, it wouldn't really leave me alone. Probably just a one-shot.**

Ethan ripped the plastic gloves off his hands and threw them in the bin before he stormed out of Resus. First Lily, now this. He had just failed to revive Roy Ellison, it wasn't like he didn't deserve death though - he was an awful man. Telling Denise Ellison wasn't going to be easy either, the family is crazy.

"He's dead!" Denise shouted "Seriously?! This should not have happened, if this department was focused on the job in hand instead of that girl who got hit by the car and that stupid strike then my husband wouldn't have died!" Ethan could feel his blood boiling at this point, how dare she say something like that about Lily! He could understand the strike, but how could one women be so inconsiderate?

"You have my word that this department's best efforts went into the care of your husband, and I am deeply sorry of your loss, Mrs Ellison" Ethan said calmly.

"Your word?! My loss?! Someone's responsible for this, and I'm not leaving here until I know who!" Denise continued to shout.

"Mrs Ellison," Cal interjected whilst wondering over from the nurse's station "everyone who was involved in the care of your husband tried their absolute best, but he was gone, I'm very sorry." Cal nudged Ethan, indicating he should go to the staff room. Ethan gladly let Cal deal with Mrs Ellison, he, along with most of the department, hated that family.

Ethan sat on one of the stools in the staff room, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes, he could feel a headache coming on.

"Ethan!" Cal shouted, making Ethan jump, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Look, you have to leave, now."

"What?" Ethan asked. "Why?"

"Cause that family are looking for the doctor who they deem responsible, and if they find out that you called it, they are going to come looking for you, they're dangerous Ethan, please go" Cal practically begged.

"Okay, I'll go to the pub, we were going to go at the end of the shift anyway, meet you there?"

"Yeah sure" Cal replied and Ethan turned to leave "Oh and Ethan,"

"Yeah"

"Ask Alicia out, you guys will be great together"

"Really, you okay with that?"

"Yeah, you'd be much better together than me and her anyway"

"Thanks Cal"

"No worries...Ethan?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you okay?" Cal pulled Ethan into a hug "I always will, no matter what"

"I love you too, and I always will"

"Okay, I'll see you in the pub then"

"See you in the pub"

Cal walked over to the nurse's station after getting changed, it was the end of his shift.

"I NEED TO KNOW WHO DID THIS!" Denise Ellison was shouting, again.

"Mrs Ellison, I know you're grieving and I know you want to know the doctor who treated your husband, but I'm afraid many of the doctors in this department treated your husband at different stages throughout his time here." Mrs Beauchamp calmly, but firmly, answered.

"Who declared him dead? I want to know who gave up on him!"

"Mrs Ellison, no doctor here would ever 'give up' on any patient, a patient is declared dead after a period of time with no revival and when the patient shows no signs of revival"

"Was it the nerdy one with glasses? It was wasn't it? Hardly looks like a competent doctor anyway"

"HEY!" Cal had to jump in there. "Doctor Hardy is a very competent doctor and if he declared your husband dead then there was no chance your husband was ever coming back!"

"How dare you-" Cal cut her off

"Nobody speaks about my brother like that" Cal whispered firmly, so only Mrs Beauchamp and Denise heard.

Cal stormed out of the department, going to look for his brother in the pub.

"Ethan!" He called.

Ethan was sat with Alicia, giggling, they really did look like a cute couple. 'I wonder if Ethan has asked her out yet?' Cal wondered as he strode over.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Ethan we really need to go now, the Ellison's haven't calmed down, and they're looking for you"

"Right okay, sorry Alicia but I'm going to have to go, speak to you later?"

"I'd love that Ethan" Alicia replied

Cal and Ethan left the pub and wandered into the car park to go home. Then, a man, not much older than themselves, stormed over to them.

"OI" Scott Ellison shouted at Cal and Ethan

"What?" Cal replied

"You the one who killed my dad?" Scott asked getting into Ethan's face

"Er...No...I" Ethan stuttered

"Right you better back off or I'm going to call the police" Cal pushed the Scott back with his hand before Scott punched Cal in the face, Cal punched back but as he did that Scott pushed something shiny into Cal's torso...a knife. Scott pulled back and ran away.

"CAL!" Was the last thing Cal heard his brother say before he plunged into darkness...

"Ethan?" Alicia called as she left the pub, he had left his jacket there as they were in such a rush. "ALICIA?! HELP ITS CAL!" She ran to Ethan as fast as she could, he sounded panicked, this was far from good.

"Oh my god..." She said as she went round the corner. All she saw was Ethan pushing his hands onto his brothers torso, unsuccessfully trying to stop blood from leaving Cal's body. Cal on the other hand, was deathly pale, a stark contrast from the deep red colour his shirt was turning.

"Please go get help Alicia, please" Ethan begged, tears pouring from his eyes.

"Okay, I'll go, stay calm Ethan, stay calm!" She shouted running towards the entrance of the hospital.

"Please Cal, I can't lose you, please don't die" Ethan whispered to his unresponsive brother.

Alicia soon returned, followed by Connie, Sam, David and Max with a trolley.

"It's okay, Ethan, we're here now" Connie's calm and surprisingly sensitive voice was heard over Ethan's muffled cry.

They managed to get Cal onto the trolley with Ethan still pressing hard on his torso. Alicia shuddered when she looked back at the pool of blood where Cal lay.

"Right, I need 6 units of O Neg, now!" Connie ordered whilst striding into Resus, as all of their colleagues looked on, speechless.

"Ethan, you know the rules, come with me" Alicia softly spoke to the man she loved who had a blank look on his face with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I can't" He replied

"You can't what, babe?"

"I can't lose him Alicia" He looked up at her, and then she saw the emotion in his eyes, she really didn't know what to do.

"Come with me, let's make a cuppa, ey?" He nodded slightly, knowing it was no use him being there, considering the orders Mrs Beauchamp was shouting were not processing in his brain at all.

Alicia guided Ethan into the staff room, ignoring the stares from the other staff members as Ethan blankly looked at the floor.

They sat in the staff room for what felt like an eternity, but could have been anything from minutes to hours, before Charlie walked in. Alicia looked up, he looked on the verge of tears himself, this couldn't be good. She looked over at Ethan, who had fallen asleep next to her, clearly the day had taken its toll on him. She quietly got up and walked over to Charlie, being careful not to wake Ethan.

"We lost him, Alicia, I'm sorry, do you want me to tell him or should I?" Nodding his head in Ethan's direction. Alicia felt like she might break down into tears then and there, but she knew it wasn't the place or time, she wouldn't feel half as bad as Ethan would.

Taking a deep breath and sighing, "I'll do it" She replied in less than a whisper.

"Ethan" She rubbed his shoulder, "Ethan?"

"Ummmm, Cal?" Ethan asked. Alicia wanted to cry.

"No, it's me Ethan, Alicia." Her voice cracking.

"Oh sorry...is Cal okay? Surgery? What's happening? Do you know?" Ethan went to get up before Alicia pulled him back down.

"No, Ethan, sit down"

"What? What's happening? Alicia?"

"They lost Cal, Ethan, he lost too much blood"

Ethan just stared blankly at her.

"Ethan?" He let out a breath.

"Ethan? Please say something" Alicia begged.

"Cal..." Ethan breathed as he looked down at the floor.

"Ethan? Should I get Charlie?" Ethan just stared at the floor.

"I'm getting Charlie, don't go anywhere"

Again, no response.

Luckily, Charlie didn't stray too far from the staff room. He heard the door open and then close again before looking up to see a teary Alicia run towards him.

"Oh Charlie, what do I do? I told Ethan and it's like he has just gone into shut down mode, he won't talk or anything, please tell me what I do!" Alicia was crying now.

"Alicia, stay calm, for Ethan's sake. Robyn, come calm Alicia down and I'll go talk to Ethan"

"Thank you, Charlie"

Charlie walked into the staff room slowly shutting the door behind him, to find Ethan sat on the sofa staring at the floor.

"Ethan? You okay mate?"

Nothing.

"Ethan?"

Again, nothing.

"Ethan, say something"

Instead, Ethan got up and left so Charlie followed. Ethan walked out of the staff room, out of the department, not even recognising the sympathetic looks he got from everyone there, who had now heard about Cal.

Charlie continued to follow Ethan, and was now joined by Alicia, who wanted to make sure he was okay.

Ethan went to his and Cal's apartment, no, his apartment, and unlocked the door. He ran straight to Cal's bedroom and started shifting through the piles of clothes on the floor. Charlie and Alicia looked on from the doorway, confused and worried at the same time. Ethan stopped suddenly, staring at what he had been looking for. Slowly, he bent down to pick it up and shoved it over his head; Cal's hospital hoodie.

Charlie and Alicia heard him take a deep breath and sigh. Ethan turned around and a small gasp escaped when he saw them standing at the door.

"Oh, how long have you been there?"

"Followed you from the hospital, Ethan, we were worried" Charlie replied

"Okay, there's no need to worry, you can go"

"Alright, I'll leave Alicia here so you can talk to her"

Ethan nodded his head. They walked into the living room, Ethan went to put the kettle on as Charlie left, whispering to Alicia as he left; "keep an eye on him, if you need me, I'm a phone call away"

"Thanks Charlie" Alicia said as he left.

Alicia walked into the kitchen to find Ethan at the kettle. He turned around crying hysterically and put his hand over his mouth, sinking to the floor. Alicia sighed and sat down next to him, putting an arm around him as he placed his head on her shoulder, now she knew why he put the kettle on, to drown out the sound of his cries.

Alicia stayed with the man she loved all night, he cried and talked and cried some more, sharing memories about the brother he loved so much. He told her that Cal had given them his blessing, and Ethan had told her that he loved her, and although Alicia said it back (because she meant it) she knew that he may not because he was grieving, but she vowed that she would always be there for Ethan, as long as he wants her there.


End file.
